so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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