He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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