areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've blown a few things in my day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
