It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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