The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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