Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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