you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
