you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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