the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
