my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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