I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
