Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
