what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
