i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
