It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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