Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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