I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
im on a boat
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