Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
