new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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