just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
