More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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