You smell like a Billy Joel song
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
