I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
