Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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