remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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