there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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