ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
