She is in my trunk
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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