The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You may now shotgun with the bride
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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