its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
