Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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