Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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