so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
worst night to have a conscience
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
