I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
