i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
