can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize