I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
