Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
