I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
