there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's never too late to be topless.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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