Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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