I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
