if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize