Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
