This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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