Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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