last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize