Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How's work?
Spinning.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
