that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need to sanitize my soul.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
