We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
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Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
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He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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