Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
