This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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