she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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