Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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