My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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