STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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