Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
