I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize