1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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