i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
