By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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