Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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