The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
